Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Referral Day Recap-Whew!

May 21st, 2009 was a WILD day-but one that we will never forget!

We woke up in the morning and knew that a package was on the way to the agency due for delivery at any time. I was a nervous wreck!

We went to Taylor's 8th grade promotion from 7:30-8:30 am. We weren't expecting it to be outside so we were the only folks standing out in the rain without an umbrella. We didn't take many pics because of the rain but here is one of Taylor with one of his best buddies, Kyle. We thought that Taylor would remain at school for the rest of the day, but instead he came home with us. We broke the news to him in the car on the way home that we would be receiving a referral that day. He had NO CLUE!!! Xander heard the news in the car at the same time and just about came out of his seat belt buckle with excitement.
At 10:51, we finally received the Stork Has Landed email! Of course, Matt had become stir crazy and had stepped out to run a few errands just a few minutes prior. So now, not only was I a nervous wreck waiting for the phone to ring but I also didn't know if Matt would be there when the phone call finally came in. After waiting 3+ years for the call, I wasn't sure if/how I was going to ask them to call back later when it finally arrived!

Matt walked in the door at 11:24 with Taco Bell. I took two bites of nachos and threw the rest in the trash-my stomach was a mess! At 11:29, the phone finally rang! When I saw our agency's name and number on the caller ID, I felt as if I was moving through molasses trying move into position. Taylor took his post behind the video camera and Matt and I sat down at the desk in the office with pens in hand. If we hadn't video taped the phone conversation, I don't think I would remember a second of it! 'Diedre' from the dossier department was the one to deliver our news. She is not someone we were familiar with, but at our agency when referrals come in, they get everybody involved. I remember being relieved when she said that we had a GIRL! and a little sad to learn that she was close to a year old and that we would miss her first birthday. The three questions I really wanted answered were: What is her name? How old is she? and Where is she? What surprised me was how emotional I was when she started to rattle off the other information. Things like-laughs out loud, tears paper, can imitate sounds, rolls over, can grab items with thumb and index finger made her seem real to me and the fact that she is doing all of those things without us really hit me at that moment. When I finally get the video up here, you will see that I had a hard time keeping it together at that point.
Once we had our info, we had to talk about shipping arrangements for Meili's file. They could have sent it that afternoon and it could have arrived at our home the next day. The only problem is that we were leaving town on that afternoon for Phoenix and then on to CA for the long weekend. At this point, we had not even packed yet but there were more important items to attend to!

We made a few phone calls to our family and waited to receive Meili's pictures by email. They finally came at 12:19. The first picture I saw was the one where she is in the walker. My first impression was that she looked like a little monkey. We affectionately referred to Audrey as the 'monkey princess' when she was little-even made her a little monkey outfit for her first Halloween. It looks like we may have a 'monkey empress' on our hands now! Next, I saw the pic of her in the car. She's looking to the side in this one and looks a bit scared if not perturbed. Then, we saw her mugshot. I expected that this would be our least favorite photo but I think it's the one we like the most. She has a sweet little expression on her face and the shape of her head is JUST like her baba's-almost a perfect square with a little chin jutting out. Even folks we don't know have noticed a resemblance! When we look at the pictures now, there is no doubt about it-she is ours! I can't wait to hold her and see what she looks like when she smiles!
We printed out the photos and flew out the door. Audrey and Noah were still at school (their last day!) so we decided to pop in and give them the surprise of their lives! We first found Audrey outside with a group of her classmates waiting for their turn for water field day. She saw a gift bag in our hands and asked what it was about. We answered, 'It has something to do with CHINA!!!' I think she screamed. She opened the bag to find her sister's picture and fell in love. She really wanted to have a picture to show her friends at school this year and was able to do so with only about an hour and a half to spare!

Next, we went into Noah's classroom. There were other parents there and the class was getting ready to have an ice cream party. It is customary in his class that whenever a family member arrives, they stop whatever they are doing and the student will introduce them. So, Noah introduced Matt and I and then I asked Noah if he would like to introduce HIS BABY SISTER!!! The look on his face was priceless and so was the AAAWWW! in unison from his classmates when he showed them the picture. I was crying and his teacher was in tears. What a moment!

Next, we rushed across town to be fingerprinted for our 4th home study. Our third one expires in a couple of weeks so these couldn't wait. It should have only taken about 15 minutes but thanks to my fingerprint card being jammed in the printer and the sweet little 85 year old man helping us that had no clue what to do about it, we were there for more that 2 and a half hours! I was fit to be tied. We ended up having to call a neighbor to retrieve Noah and Audrey from the bus stop while we were stuck there. Thanks, Linda!

We finally got home at about 3:45 and took a few minutes to show Meili's pic to a few neighbors. When I looked at the clock again, it was 4:30 and Noah and I needed to be at the Taylor Swift concert in Phoenix (2 hours away) by 7 pm. The plan was to spend the evening in Phoenix at my Grandma's house and continue on to CA the next morning for my sister's college graduation. I couldn't believe that it was 4:30 and I still hadn't packed! All I wanted to do was get on the computer and watch referral day unfold on RQ and in blogland. I think at that point, I still needed some reassurance that our referral was real! But there was no time, not even time to send an email or compose a proper blog post-so not what I had planned!

We threw some things in suitcases and hit the road. I've never left for a trip with my house in such disarray. It was against everything that I believe in but we had no choice. We did have a great time during the two-hour drive calling friends and family and telling them our news. The kids stared at Meili's picture for most of the drive and Matt dropped Noah and I off at the concert with no time to spare. I'm embarrassed to admit that once we made it in there and the lights went out, I had a bit of a 'moment.' It was an odd combination of stress (Here's the day we've waited 3 1/2 years for and we don't have any time to enjoy it!), disbelief (Did this really happen?), gratitude (How did we get so lucky to be chosen as parents for this little girl?), and relief (We really lived to see referral day...and she's perfect!) Several folks sitting next to us must have wondered why I was so moved by Kellie Pickler's performance.....;o)

We didn't get back to Grandma's until close to midnight. Everyone else was sound asleep. Before joining them, I had to take just one more peek at Meili's little face. What a dream come true!

We Accept!

I had a hard time getting a clear picture but wanted to document that we sent our referral acceptance back to our agency this morning. For a second, I thought about checking the box TWICE to make sure the CCAA knows how sure we are about our decision!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What Can Brown Do For You?

Well, for us he pays the bills AND delivered our baby! Matt doesn't ask for much so when he was adamant about not receiving his daughter's file from his mortal enemy, we had to take him seriously. In fact, a good portion of our referral video consists of making arrangements to receive Meili's file through an alternate carrier. Here's what was posted on our door to make sure we wouldn't miss the photo op:

'Dave' wasn't sure what to think when four children and
a crazy lady with a camera rushed his delivery truck this morning.
When we told him that we were adopting
and he was delivering our baby,
he thought it was cool and was
a good sport about posing for a picture.

Four happy kiddos that can't wait to meet their sister!

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Grandkid Tables

Matt's Mom has a table in her home for pics of her 7 grandsons...
and another for pics of her now 5 granddaughters. It's official-Meili has arrived!!!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Things We'll Do For a Merit Badge!

Taylor has been just one 50 mile bike ride away from earning his Cycling merit badge for almost 2 years. We thought a ride to the beach might be the safest (and flatest!) way to go so we made it happen when we were in CA for Janine's graduation. Here we all are after the 1st 30 miles and before heading back to our starting point. The brave participants were:
Taylor, Jared (my brother) and Matt


Bill (Matt's Dad), Jennie (Matt's sister)

Me-To be honest, I made it 50 miles and stopped at a Circle K for a pick-up. At that point, I was sure that if I continued any further that the bike seat would have to be surgically extracted! The rest of the crew made it the full 60+ miles.
And Papa Jim-Jim (my Dad.) He was also crowned the Biggest Loser among several family members that participated over the last few months. He's lost almost 30 pounds and is looking great!
James (another brother) also joined us but for some reason was not photographed. Sorry James!

A Special Gift

My Sister-in-Law MADE this beautiful doll for Meili! Can you believe it?
Aunt Wendy and Her Creation
Thanks, Wendy. I know that Meili is going to love it!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Congratulations, Aunt Nini!

My sister, Janine, graduated today from the University of LaVerne with a Master's Degree in Psychology (which I'm sure has served her well at the other end of the telephone line with me during our referral wait!) We are so proud of her and glad that we could be there to celebrate her accomplishment!
Janine and Brice
With Mom and Dad
With Grandma and Me
Congrats Bean! We love you!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Miracle #5 Has Arrived!!!




Chinese Name: Fu Yan Cong
Soon to Be: Meili Grace YanCong Bouton
Birthdate: 06/07/08 11.5 months old! (Is that a cool birthdate, or what?)
Province: Jiangxi, Fu Zhou Social Welfare Institute

We can't wait to hold her in our arms and kiss those cheeks!

THANK YOU! to the People's Republic of China for this indescribable gift, to a loving Heavenly Father who is finishing what He started, and to our wonderful friends and family for your continued prayers and support!

Details Coming Soon....Promise!

All's well. We are away from home taking our referral pics on a 'live tour' to our families. We are hitting a wall with fatigue and sensory overload but it is all good. Just a few more baby debuts left and then we'll have a photo up here for all to see. Hopefully by tonight!

Meili's Referral Pics-World Tour 2009

Grandma lives 2 hours away but the rest of our family is in So. Cal. It was so fun to bring a pic of Meili to share with them on this trip. Papa Jim Jim was the only one home when we arrived so he got to be the first CA family member to see her!
Grandma had already had a chance to peek at her in the morning but we forgot to take a pic until we arrived at my parent's.
Grandma Judy and Aunt Julie seeing Meili's pic for the first time.

We met my mom and two sisters at a nail salon to prep for graduation the next day, so that's where they saw her for the first time. Here's Aunt Nini getting ready for her big day!

Grandma Debbie and Papa Bill got home from work a bit later. They had some 'babies' to share with us as well!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

We Got The Call!!!!

Will fill you all in soon-need to call the fam!!!

Will He Make It?

I forgot to mention that Matt couldn't handle sitting at home waiting any longer and headed out to run a couple of errands and grab lunch. The 'Stork Has Landed' email came in not two minutes after he left! He is determined to make two more stops before returning home. If 'the call' comes and he isn't back yet, it's going to be really tough to ask them to call back....UGH!

Somebody Pinch Me-THIS IS IT!!!!

Dear Great Wall family,

The Stork Has Landed! If you have received this email we are pleased to announce that we have received your referral! Congratulations!

We are EXTREMELY busy getting everything prepared to contact you (sorting referrals, scanning your pictures, etc!) So, that all of you will have your child’s photo today! **We will contact each family by phone today and also email you your child’s photo!

We are working as quickly as we can to bring your referral to you! We thank ALL of you for your continued patience and support!

Congratulations!

No Email Yet...

We're In!!!!!

  • Our agency emailed this morning saying that CCAA had confirmed that referrals were issued with a cutoff date of 3/14/06. They are expecting to receive our referral today!!!
  • We went to Taylor's 8th grade promotion this am from 7:30-8:30. Can't believe that my baby boy will go to high school next year!
  • We didn't know that he didn't have any school today after the promotion ceremony so we had to tell him that TODAY IS THE DAY! on the ride home. Xander surprised us with how excited he was to hear the news. He yelled, 'THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!' at the top of his lungs. He is SO ready to be a big brother.
  • Came home to check email and found info above.
  • I added our info to the 'Babies Post' on RQ and blubbered like a baby while I did it. Just still doesn't seem real. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the referral call.
  • No 'Stork Has Landed' email yet. But we are expecting it any minute!
  • All that chocolate preparation and I can't even eat it. My stomach is in knots.
  • Matt is out front replacing a sensor on his car, cool as a cucumber.
  • Early in the process, I made a CD of songs that reminded us of Meili. It feels different to listen to it today...:o)

Is Today THE Day?


If it's not, I'm going to have to be hauled away to the looney bin in restraints!


Here's what we know:



  • Our agency expects to receive a package (THE package!) by 1 pm central time (which is 11 am our time) but history tells us that it may arrive any time between 10 and 2 (which is between 8 and 12 for us.)

  • The agency will send out a 'STORK HAS LANDED' email just before they begin to make calls. When I see that email come in, I'm going to be wearing depends and breathing into a paper sack...;o)

  • After all the worry about what to do if the call came while Matt was at work, he just happens to have the day off today. No plan-just coincidence!

  • We will be at Taylor's 8th grade promotion from 7:30-8:30 am so I hope the call doesn't come then. But just in case, I'll have a camera in one had and videocamera in the other...luckily, so will all the other parents.

  • Our children have NO IDEA that referrals are eminent. Today is the last day of school for them and they have been really sad that another school year is about to wrap up and they still don't have a picture of their sister to share with their friends. We have received permission from Noah's and Audrey's teachers to pop into their classrooms with a picture tomorrow ***IF*** we have one before the school day is over!

  • At 1 pm, Matt and I have to go to the police station to be fingerprinted for our home study update so we hope to have some info before then or it will be hard to leave the house.

  • Shortly after kids get home from school, Noah and I are heading to the Taylor Swift concert so dreams are coming true on a number of levels for certain family members today! This is so not what I had in mind for a referral night celebration (I loathe anything remotely Country) but I love ALL of my children and this is as big as it gets for #3.

  • We may not post a pic for a few days here on the blog so be patient with us. We want to take some time to take it all in and share it in person and by email with several friends and family members before throwing it out here for the general public and it might take the weekend to do so. We have been looking forward to this day for SOOOO long that we plan to milk it for all that it's worth. ;o)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hope I Don't Jinx Things By Posting This...

... but it looks like THE STORK IS FLYING!!! There are several European countries as well as a couple of US agencies reporting that the cut off date is March 14th! We are logged in on the 10th and our friends are logged in on the 13th so this is GREAT news!!! Several agencies are also reporting that referrals have been mailed and there is actually a report that an agency in Denmark has already received referrals. It is very likely that we will recieve THE CALL on Thursday!!!


The last several weeks have been rough. There were reports that referrals may be delayed until September due to the swine flu. None of this was confirmed by our agency but when your 6-8 month adoption stretches into it's 39th month, you start to put some stock in worse case scenarios. I've seen the end of my rope and it's not a fun place to be.

So, this news comes completely out of left field for us and it's hard not to think it's too good to be true. Hopefully the next 48 hours will prove otherwise and the little girl that we have been dreaming about for years will finally have a face!

***UPDATE*** Our agency is expecting a package on Thursday...I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

And It Just Keeps Getting Better, Folks...

Late last week, travel approvals (TA's) continued to trickle in for families who received their referrals in the last batch. That seemed like a good indication that things were still moving along in the right direction, albeit slowly. Then news came in that some of those families, could get Consulate Appointments (CA's-in Guangzhou-in order to get their child's Visa to come to the US) but were being refused appointments with provincial officials to finalize their adoptions in China. This is so frustrating-particularly for those families that have already purchased airline tickets that they may not be able to use.

Even after all of this, I was still optimistic for good news this morning and the possiblity of seeing a referral this week, especially since the pig flu news seemed to be less panic-inducing and on the decline. Instead, we woke up to news that there was a confirmed case of the pig flu in mainland China and this person had recently flown in from the US. Great. To add insult to injury, it looks like China has suspended issuing Visas and will not honor some that have already been issued. The following is a quote from an RQ post. I believe the poster works for a large travel agency in France:

"We have been passed information from the Chinese visa application centre today that due to recent events regarding the Swine Flu outbreak, the Chinese Embassy are suspending the issue of visas to certain applicants. This applies to travelers holding passports with entry / exit stamps in their passport (anytime from the 20th April and onwards) to the following countries: Mexico, Spain, USA and Canada." We have been advised this change applies to both new applicants and any travelers holding existing valid Chinese visas. The Chinese authorities have also advised us that there is a strong possibility clients arriving in China by
flight, on a previously issued visa, may be refused entry by Immigration officials, if their passport shows any evidence of recent travel to any of the above countries. Please be aware that this information is yet to be updated on the Chinese Embassy's website, but we will of course keep you updated if we receive anyfurther news regarding this situation"

Our agency has been sending out daily emails, even if just to say that they have no new news. So far, nothing today. Still praying that things will work out sooner than later. Sadly, it's all that we can do right now.

On a lighter note, we spent a great day together as a family yesterday. Matt made a wonderful Mother's Day breakfast including homemade cinnamon rolls. He rolled them up short-ways instead of long-ways so they turned out HUGE, but nobody complained. (Yes, he bakes-and sometimes answers to 'Mathew Stewart.') We went to church mid-day and the kids sang in sacrament meeting. I'm not sure they knew half of the words but they were certainly cute standing up there. After church, we took a much needed nap and then headed out to a symphony concert in the park. On the drive home at about 8:30 pm, it was still about 94 degrees! We came home and ate brownie sundaes for dinner-perfect!

One of the positive things that have come through this crazy wait is that I hug the 4 kiddos that we have at home a little tighter, appreciate them more and try to enjoy the small things and the quiet moments with them. I found a plaque the other day that said, "My greatest blessings call me Mom" and that's exactly how I feel.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

If Hell Were Personalized...

I've said out loud before that if hell were personalized, mine would be spent standing at a kitchen counter making sack lunches throughout the eternities. In fact, my kiddos only have 12 more days of school left to finish out the year and I'm already counting down the sack lunches!

Anyway, I change my mind. I am a problem solver by nature and somewhat of a control freak so you can imagine how the current adoption situation we find ourselves in makes me feel. Our baby has been born. She is in China. She is in an orphanage. We don't know who she is but we have loved her for a very long time. I have no idea about the standard of care that she is receiving. Her file has been prepared. It is sitting on a desk. She is ready to be matched with a family and to come home but the whole process is at a stand still. And there is not a darn thing I can do about it. I can stuff my face with chocolate, make lists and buy diaperbags all day long but it's not going to bring her home any faster. I'm tired of waiting. I'm even tired of complaining about waiting, believe it or not. I know that it will all work out as it is supposed to in the end. But in the meantime, this is hell.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Well, it's official...

Our agency emailed this morning and confirmed that CCAA is delaying referrals this month due to the outbreak of the Swine Flu. There is no indication as to how long this delay will last. We are praying that things will resume asap. Each day that Meili's file sits on a desk in China is a day that she won't get to spend at home with her family.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Audrey!

My girl turns 11 years old today. We couldn't be
more proud of her or more happy to call her our daughter!
We love you, Audrey-Girl!

A Little Bit of Hope

I received two emails from our agency today and both seem to indicate that so far CCA* is only issuing precautions for those about to travel. There doesn't seem to be any real evidence that referrals will be delayed (besides the fact that we don't have one yet and no news about any on the way...) Our agency also said that the Director of the Matching Room has been away this week due to the Labor Day holiday and expect that is why there is no referral news. We won't know anything else until next week. Here's hoping that the swine flu situation will stabilize and that we'll hear some good news soon!

Clear as Mud

The following statement released today by CC*A doesn't specify whether referrals will be delayed this month or not and doesn't really say whether travel approvals will continue to be issued either. It seems to say that if you were planning to come soon, your agency may suggest that you postpone your trip. But if not, when you're here, go to the hospital if you get sick. Hopefully, our agency will be able to clarify for us soon.

Date of Release: April 30,2009   Source: CC*A

Adoption agencies:

Currently there are cases of human infection of the swine flu found in some countries and regions. With the high infectivity of this disease, children are susceptible to it for their low resistance. In order to avoid cross infection during the process of adoption registration and protect the health of children in orphanages as well as the adoptive parents, we hereby announce that:

Adoption agencies are required to counsel the adoptive parents who have received Notice of Coming to China for Adoption to postpone their trip to China for the registration procedure.
The validity period of Notice of Coming to China for Adoption issued between March 1 to April 30 this year is prolonged from three months to five months (There is no need to update the paper).

Adoptive families are advised to follow the arrangement of local registration authorities and cooperate during the entrustment of child for the harmony period and the adoption registration process.

If adoptive parents feel unwell during their stay in China for the registration procedure, they shall go to the hospital for medical checkup in time and report to CCAA about relevant situation.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Not Sure What To Think

It's been a rough day. I had a bag of chocolate for breakfast and an In-n-Out burger for lunch... Since the last post, an agency in Canada has confirmed the bad news. However, I did email our agency and they said they have no confirmation of any delays from CCAA. In fact, they expect to receive a few travel approvals (TAs) this week. Not sure if it's reason to be optimistic or just an indication that they are not yet in the loop of what's going on. RQ reports that an agency has been in contact with CCAA and that they have confirmed that there will be no delay. Just when we thought the roller coaster ride couldn't get any wilder! We should have some more info tomorrow as it is the day before CCAA takes off for their Labor Day holiday and the day we would expect referrals to be mailed if all is well.

My thought for the day: "Adoption is not for sissies!!!"

What Next???

Yesterday, I was complaining about no news. Today, I'd rather have no news that what I've just read. There are reports that several adoption agencies in Spain have received notification from CC*A that referrals will not be sent this month due to the Swine Flu outbreak. I am numb.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

All's Quiet on the Adoption Front...

No news today. Nothing on the web and not a peep from our agency. The chocolate in my referral basket is being put to good use...

Monday, April 27, 2009

An Amazing Gift...

My sister, Janine ('Bean' to me and 'Aunt Nini' to my kids), surprised us this past weekend by sending this beautiful ladybug quilt that she made for Meili. I knew that she had purchased fabric a while back and had the project in mind but between her full time school psych internship and finishing up her master's degree, I never expected that she would have it done so soon. I'm still trying to figure out where she found the time! I am just not a person who cries (I find yelling to be much more effective...) but this gift brought me to tears. What an amazing gift-thank you, Bean!


I love the cherry blossom fabric that she chose for the backing.
Our Aunt Nancy helped Janine do the quilt stitching
and Janine embroidered the tag above by hand!

Is this our week?

So far this morning, no emails from our agency and no news on the web about a confirmed cut-off date or any packages being sent. It's still looking like Friday the 1st or Monday the 4th. We're in the home stretch!

*UPDATE: Our agency sent an email earlier today that said that they have not received any updates from CC*A-no indication that matching has begun, no news about packages being sent, nothing about a possible cut-off date. No worries-this could still be our week. Last month, they still had no info as referral packages arrived throughout the world. At this point, it really could be any day.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Noah's Baptism

Today, Noah was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a special day shared with family and friends. We are so proud of Noah for the decision he made and know that his Heavenly Father is proud of him too.




Thursday, April 23, 2009

The First Rumor!!!

Someone has heard through the grapevine that an agency has told clients that the cut off is the 14th! Of course, it's just a rumor. Let's hope it pans out. A 6 day batch would be wonderful!

Update: RQ has rated this rumor as an R1. Even though it probably doesn't have any merit, it is nice to be in the rumor phase of the referral cycle. It's one step closer to our call!

I'm also starting to think that there is a good chance that referrals will arrive on or near the 1st of May since there is a National holiday in China on that day (their Labor Day.) It is customary for the CC*A to clear their desks before leaving on holiday and a similar thing happened last month. Referrals began to arrive on the day that China was celebrating Qing Ming Festival.

4 Years Ago Today...

April 23rd, 2005 was our decision day. I remember the date because we were in Southern CA visiting family and they had a combo birthday party for Audrey and Noah while we were there. (The photo above was taken at the party and later included in our dossier.) While the party was going on, my brother and his wife were at the hospital having a baby. When I look at my niece, Rebecca, (Happy 4th Birthday!) it's an interesting visual of just how long we have been at this adoption.

Earlier that day, Matt and I had attended a China Adoption conference put on by what would become our agency. We went there wanting to adopt from China and left there knowing that we would. We had also chosen our agency (but only after I cornered the director at the conference and gave her an inquisition.) We just had to figure out when to start.

I'm not sure if I've shared this before, but even though we have thought about China adoption for many years, we didn't plan to start the adoption process as soon as we did. In April of 2005, Xander was only 18 months old. China adoptions were taking about 6 months from DTC to referral (Those were the days...) and we weren't quite ready for child #5 so soon. In fact our original plan was to wait until he was 5. 'Funny' how that worked out afterall... Prior to that, I had started to have China adoption on the brain in January of 2004, shortly after my 30th birthday. Imagine my surprise when I found out about China's 30 year age requirement... We started talking seriously about adopting from China in December of 2004 and I sent away for info from several agencies in February of 2005. However, our plan at that time was to do research and gather info for a year and then apply and start our dossier sometime in late '06. We weren't in a hurry.
Attending this conference started the ball rolling at a different speed, however. Unfamiliar with the process, we had thought we could slowly gather paperwork over the course of months or years if need be but learned that we would need to instead 'paperchase.' At the end of the conference we won a free Dragon Plan (agency did all of our certifications and authentications for us) which seemed like a good thing. The catch was that the prize expired in 6 months. This was only the first of many signs that we were to begin the process sooner than planned. I began to feel that we needed to adopt from China with the same urgency that a person would feel the need to flee a burning building. I knew that we needed to begin immediately. I felt rushed and I fought it but I couldn't ignore it. It's all a bit ironic now from where we sit 4 years later. We had no idea that things would slow down like they have but someone did and I'm sure that He was looking out for us and for our girl. If we had followed our own plan, we wouldn't be about to see our daughter's face. In fact, I don't think we would even be in line.
So, when I look back at that picture and reflect back on that day, I think about how long it has taken and how hard it has been but it also reminds me that some things, including the timing of it all, are just meant to be.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Report That Matching Has Begun!

I woke up this morning and thought to myself that since it is the 22nd of the month, we should be hearing rumors anytime now. I also noted that I'm not as antsy about hearing news about a potential cut-off date this month as I was last. In fact, we can just skip the cut-off rumors and go straight to the referral call if you ask me! There is definitely a sense of peace about knowing that we are next (as long as our file isn't lost, skipped, etc.)

I promised to educate the masses about what happens in the matching room once we heard that matching had begun this month. We haven't heard anything directly from our agency but the first matching rumor has hit the web. It's hard to believe that after all of this time, Meili's file and our file are in the same room right now, maybe even on the same desk and some stranger for some reason will help determine which of China's precious baby girls will become our daughter...

Here's what RQ has to say about the matching process:

First, they review the baby dossiers and make sure there are no issues with them. We are told that they then count up all of the baby dossiers that are eligible for matching that month and then look to see how far this stack will go in the parent dossiers without sending out a partial day, and they pull all of those parent files. That is the likely cut-off date. Sometimes something happens and they don't get this far. Sometimes something happens and they get farther.

Next they match orphanages up with agencies. This orphanage has six babies, this agency has six families. These two orphanages are in the same province and have a total of 12 babies, this agency has 12 families. When they are through with this is when (I believe) some agencies start to get information about the cut-off date. Or at least it is when they used to start getting information.

And then they start matching individual babies to individual families. At some point during this part of the process most agencies used to hear from their person in the matching room to let them know how many referrals they will be receiving and from what province(s). Some agencies shared this information with their clients. Some chose not to. Recently I’ve gotten the feeling that many agencies are still getting this information but they are being given orders by the CCAA to not share this information with the families.

Just as in the review room, each matcher is assigned certain agencies and is responsible for communicating with their agencies. Some matchers tell their agency the cut-off date, some matchers tell their agency “you have X number of referrals arriving”, some matchers give their agency a list of that agency’s families that will be receiving a referral. And some matchers don’t say anything at all to their agencies.

The next question that comes up is generally how the matchers match families and babies. I’ve heard from several people who have had the opportunity to speak with someone who works in the matching room. The various conversations seem to all agree that they first look for something that stands out: a matching birthday, a baby who looks a lot like a parent, or a baby who likes music and a parent who teaches music. Several matching people have stated they match by bone structure of the baby’s face and the parent’s faces (this is why they need our passport photos, so they can compare our mug shot with the baby’s mug shot). Some have stated that they used Chinese astrology, also. Once they’ve matched the obvious matches they then start to look at things like age of child requested. The age requested is not a priority for them, they feel they are matching families and not filling orders. And I have to say that they’ve done a wonderful job matching us and our Big Girl, and now I trust they will do an excellent job matching us with her little sister.


It still doesn't seem real that after all of this time the answer to the question, 'So, when do you think you will be getting your referral?' has gone from, 'Hopefully, this year.' to 'PROBABLY NEXT WEEK!!!' This is so exciting and I am so ready!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

STORK WATCH 2009-The Monthly Cycle

No, I'm not talking about THAT one! I'm talking about the referral cycle and this is IT, folks! We've been at this adoption thing for 37 months now and there are certain phases (usually with corresponding RQ posts) that each month has in common. Since this could very well (and better be!) our last time tracking the stork with such intense scrutiny, I thought I would record the psychosis here just for kicks:


  • Once word hits the web that referrals are starting to arrive in various parts of the world(April 3rd and 5th last month), we wait on baited breath for confirmation of a cut off date. (Last month it was March 8th, 2006. We are March 10th!)

  • Next comes the fun part. Chinese baby faces hit blogland and we celebrate with and live vicariously through those parents whose dreams have finally come true and tell ourselves that this roller coaster ride will end one happy day for us, as well. (I shared the joy a few posts back...)

  • Then, based on the amount of referrals CC*A was able to squeak out for the current month, RQ comes out with a PROJECTIONS post. She looks at what the CC*A has done historically (including the previous month) and comes up with 5 different cut-off date scenarios of for the next several monthly batches. Unfortunately, the recent trend is that referral batches fall somewhere in between the first two columns. The good news is that this month, every single possible scenario includes not only us but our friends who are logged in on the 13th!

  • The next question that comes to mind is WHEN the next batch of referrals will arrive. RQ saves us the mental exercise by putting out another post on the subject. Here's what she said this month: The last 12 referral batches arrived at 28, 38, 28, 35, 22, 27, 37, 36, 18, 24, 39, and 32 days. The average is 30 days, the median is 30. We see 28 twice. The shortest interval is 18 days and the longest is 39. That would mean the soonest we’d expect to see them would be Tuesday, April 21 and the latest would be Tuesday, May 12. (Based on historical data, nothing says the CCAA has to stay in this window, just that historically that’s what they’ve done.) The most likely arrival date based on time between referrals would be either Friday, May 1 or Monday, May 4.
  • Then comes the part of the month that I enjoy the least. It's when we have already eeked every bit of information that we could out of the previous batch and start to look forward to rumors trickling in about the next batch only to find that there are none. To add insult to injury, this is the time of the month when RQ resorts to reviewing vampire books... This is about where we are right now. Ugh.

  • The next thing that we can expect this month are random rumors about the next cut off date. These early rumors are usually very positive and ultimately false. We know this and yet there is something in us that makes us want to believe that a speed-up is around the corner and that this month might finally be the month that the early positive rumors turn out to be true. My head knows this, but my heart hasn't learned it's lesson yet.

  • Eventually, our agency will notify us by email that matching has begun. When that happens this month, I'll post about how (supposedly) we are matched with a baby. Ultimately, we know that Heavenly Father has chosen the child that will become our daughter but it's still fascinating to me to learn about what 'man' has to do in order to help accomplish that.

  • Within a few days of the 'matching has begun' news, we start to see rumors coming from more reliable sources about a potential cut-off date. The rumors that come later in the cycle tend to pan out more often that those that come earlier so these really tend to get our attention.

  • Then, we wait to hear on the web or from our agency that a package is on the way from China. There is never confirmation that the package contains referrals but we can usually guess by the timing that it is definitely the 'Stork' in the air.

  • Next, once our agency has our referral in hand, we'll receive a 'Stork Has Landed' email and expect to get THE CALL from our agency within an hour of receiving it. At this point, I fully expect to be breathing into a paper bag and wearing Depends...
  • During THE CALL, we will learn Meili's given Chinese name, her (probably estimated)birthdate, her measurements at the time of the report, the province in which she lives, and whether she is in an orphanage or in foster care. There are so many unknowns. It will be nice to finally have answers to just a few of our questions.

It will be a relief to exit this cycle and begin a new adventure in parenthood but our thoughts will never be far from those who continue to wait to become parents and the children who continue to wait to become part of a family.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Party in Blogland!

It's been so fun over the last few days to see blogfriends who have been waiting as long as we have finally see the faces of the little ones that they have been waiting for for so long. I'm linking a few below to share the joy:

I've been following this blog for a long time. So cool to click over there and finally see that cute little SMILING Asian face!

These women were logged in just two days before us with our same agency. So, not only have I been able to watch their dreams come true over the past few days, I've also been in on the 'on deck for referral' agency emails and now know exactly what to expect next month when it is OUR TURN! I've been taking notes such as: Agency emails that a package should arrive by 1pm. Package arrives at 10 am!....etc. So happy for you guys!

She was my awesome Secret Pal and is now the proud Mama of Lilli. What a cutie!

This fabulous woman that we've actually met in the flesh also received her referral. I'm still waiting to see her face but I think today is the day!

This blog friend (and faithful commenter!) has also received a referral for a little girl and we're waiting on the edge of our seats to see a picture!

Yesterday, some of these folks were still awaiting their referrals due to a package delivery problem. (It wasn't UPS is all I can say! FYI-Matt has made a sales pitch to our agency to switch over to 'Brown.' It may be time for a follow up...) I spent the day shampooing carpets and only let myself check the web between rooms or between water changes. It made the time go by fast and kept me motivated to finish! Who knew that chore could be so much fun!

Congratulations to all these new or 'new and improved' families!!! Wishing you safe and speedy travels to bring those babies HOME!!!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Odds and Ends

  • Just came back from a Chinese banquet put on by my Mandarin instructor at a new Chinese restaurant across town. It was an 8 course authentic adventure in Chinese cuisine and delicious! Let's just say that I'll eat just fine in China. I ate duck and lived. And serving yourself some fish while it is staring at you is really not that big of a deal... A new favorite is Cong You Bing. It's a green onion-pancake type thing-sold on the street in China apparently and a popular breakfast item in Taiwan.
  • I start another 10 week Mandarin course next Thursday. My skillz have gotten rusty and I need to get back into the swing of things before we go to China. The good news is that the native Chinese that we were eating with tonight told me that my pronunciation is very good-there's hope!
  • Last week we went to HIGH SCHOOL orientation for Taylor (We're officially old...), Jr. High orientation for Audrey, and registered Xander for Kindergarten. Our kids are going to be spread out over three schools next year. Add a new baby to the mix and it's going to be wild. (I can't wait!) Xander was asked to count to 100 at the registration to which he replied, "Would you like me to count by 10's or 1's?" I think he's going to be just fine... We are waiting to see if he will have full day Kindergarten or if they will have to scale back to half day to pare down the budget.
  • Taylor is participating in Track this quarter. Today they had a clinic at the high school. A couple of coaches there asked Taylor for his name. He thought he was in trouble but they wanted to recruit him for Cross Country and Track at the high school next year. He's very excited!
  • Audrey has announced that she wants to play volleyball. This is the first time that she has shown interest in a sport. I think she'll do great-If she stays on her current growth curve, she'll be 6' one day! We have a net set up in the back yard and she's been practicing every day. I would love to enroll her in volleyball camp this summer but still can't say for sure when we'll be in China. In fact, we can't really enroll any of the kids in anything this summer while we are in China limbo.
  • Noah officially starts his baseball season this weekend. It's going to be fun to watch his games!
  • On the adoption front, it looks like it's another whopping two day batch this month. That leaves just two LIDs to go before they get to us. I seriously thought that I was mentally prepared to not be in this batch but I was surprised at how upset I was at the news. Part of me REALLY wanted to be in the same batch as my March 7th and 8th blog friends. I think that makes it a bit worse-feels like the party of the century is about to happen and I'm not invited. I've had a bad two days but I'm ready to suck it up for another month. It doesn't change the fact that I'm truly happy for those who are about to see their babies' faces for the first time next week. Besides, we're NEXT!!!
  • I have great friends and family. Many have called to see if we are 'in' or not this month even though they were afraid to ask. A mom of one of Audrey's friends hung her head (and half of her body) out of her car window in the drive-thru line at Mc D's yesterday just to yell, "Any news about your baby?!!!" I'm grateful that so many are still along for the ride with us.
  • I'm also grateful that April of 2009 will go down in history as the busiest month we've ever had. We've got Easter, two birthdays, a baptism, two sets of houseguests, cub scouts, baseball games, two school field trips, Mandarin class, and the list goes on. It should certainly help pass the time until the next batch of referrals come out. Did I mention that we're NEXT???

Monday, March 30, 2009

Meili's Dad is Starting to Get Excited

I'm not surprised that Matt would be excited to put the crib up in our room this weekend since it is a manly job that involves tools.

What surprised me was that when he was done assembling the crib,
he took a look at the crib bedding in my hands and said, "I'll do it!"
And he was really serious about doing it right. I think he tied at least 20 little bows...
When it was done, he said, "Now, all we need is our baby!"
On top of all of this, when I woke up this morning, he had ALREADY CHECKED RUMOR QUEEN. He's never done that before. In fact not two months ago, he was still asking me what our log in date was. He's off work today and just called from the oil change place as I was typing this to ask if there is any news. I think somebody's excited!